A New Leaf
by SnarkWrangler
Summary: A college student gets a new job, a homeless man befriends a young boy, a dangerous man picks up a hitchhiker, and a married woman finally meets the man of her dreams. All connected by a small veterinary clinic. NaruSasuNaru, etc.
1. Ways to Skin a Cat

**A New Leaf**

**Ch 1 – Ways to Skin a Cat**

It was a beautiful day. The sky was a dreamy blue and only a few wispy clouds hung around its edges like the remaining hair of a balding man. A sultry breeze knocked the leaves off a nearby maple. They tumbled down, waving like the severed hands of dead babies. In the shadow of the tree, a young man finished locking his bike to the designated rack. Straightening, Sasuke dragged fingers vainly through his black hair. Partway through said gesture, his hand collided forcefully with the helmet he was wearing. Cursing quietly, he yanked the offending object off his head and threw it at his bicycle before returning to grooming himself. Sasuke ran his fingers repeatedly through his hair in a gesture that could have been nervous had it not appeared so saturated with self-confidence.

Like hell was going to look like a helmet-haired imbecile on his first day at a new job.

In a brisk fashion that contrasted the lazy ease of the weather, Sasuke stalked pointedly across the parking lot. He scowled irritably at New Leaf Animal Clinic as he approached it. Sasuke had wanted a job at the veterinary clinic across town because it was bigger and was located closer to his home. But of _course_ they were fully staffed and had to turn Sasuke down. They'd referenced him here, where New Leaf had welcomed him with open arms. They had barely looked at his resume before hiring him. Sasuke's scowl deepened, and he stopped in front of the building to get a good look at the place.

New Leaf was small and domestic looking, with screen doors and neon animals standing around in the windows. Sasuke was not impressed. He'd seen the place a few days ago when he'd come for his job application, but that had been at night, and somehow the place had looked more elegant in the dark. Braced against the inevitable, Sasuke smoothed his features into a look of indifference, grabbed the handle of one of those endearing screen doors and marched inside.

The interior of the clinic was as homely as its exterior. Mismatched chairs stood around on the linoleum floor and peculiar leafy plants sprouted from various locations around the room. To the right of the door was a sort of mini pet store, its merchandise varying from vitamins to kitty litter. Directly in front of the door, and consequentially Sasuke, was a counter and the front desk. Behind it was the front office. The reception area was unmanned.

With an aggravated sigh, Sasuke approached the counter, noting the massive shelves of files and the unruly heaps of junk on the desks. There were two Dell computers, the size of their monitors a silent testimony to their age. A woman's voice came from the door to the back. Sasuke immediately checked his impassive mask. He heard a male voice, and then laughter. Sasuke grit his teeth at the obvious incompetence of the staff. There could be clients out here waiting (the fact that there weren't notwithstanding), and the receptionist was in the back, _flirting_. He noticed a small stainless steel bell lying all-too-innocently on the counter. It was tempting. Sasuke's fingers twitched.

**$$#&&$#$**

Naruto grinned as Anko laughed at his joke. His blue eyes slid half-closed and he let them drift to the glass back door. _Gods, it's a beautiful day._ An impatient ding rung from the reception area, and Anko reeled away from him, moaning, "Ugh, the _bell!"_

Naruto nodded absentmindedly as she slammed through the door leading to the front office, still staring at the outside world through the glass. He tuned out Anko's voice as he watched the some idiot jaywalk across the busy mainstreet. A truck blocked his view as it pulled up in front of the glass. Naruto snapped back to attention, reinvigorating his grin as Gaara stepped out of the vehicle. The redhead slowly unlocked the back door and made his way inside, passing the grooming area as he approached his coworker.

Naruto leaned casually against another counter, smiling. "And the doctor is in! So, Dr Sabaku, how was your day off?" Naruto received a death-glare for his trouble. He remained completely unfazed and his grin widened while he added, "Oh, right, not a morning person. I forgot."

Gaara paused in front of his back office. He gave Naruto a truly horrible smile before calmly replying, "That's what she said."

Naruto's eyes widened in shock as Gaara strolled into his office, smirking. When he was gone, Naruto slapped a hand to his forehead, bursting into bemused laughter. _So Gaara can crack a joke. _He stepped back, about to head to the computer to check the schedule for the day, when he collided with something solid.

Sasuke stumbled back, clutching his new uniform to his chest as he glared at the back of the man in front of him. Anko, the woman up front, had worn him down while checking him out and milking all the innuendo she could get while asking what size 'uniform' he was. Sasuke was feeling a migraine coming on. Whoever had just run into him was about to be_very_ sorry. Then the man in front of him turned around and Sasuke froze.

There's something incredibly disorienting about finally finding a stress ball for your frustrations and having it turn around and be drop-dead gorgeous. Sasuke watched as the blond man's lips formed some sort of apology. He was a deer in the headlights staring into his impending doom.

Then the man smiled, and Sasuke snapped out of his reverie. His glare returned full-force. He stared at the man's white teeth and remembered someone else's jeering laughter. Sasuke's eyes hardened and he looked away, scanning the area for the restroom. He needed to change. He peeled the uniform away from his chest, secretly appalled he'd clutched it like a schoolgirl, and began to walk in a direction that looked promising. Promising meaning as far away from the smiling man as possible.

The man started to follow him, saying something and trying to get Sasuke to listen. The sound of his voice did terrible things to Sasuke's stomach.

_La la la, not listening. Go away, go away, go away!_

Sasuke sped up the pace as the man closed in behind him. He was halfway across the room when a strong hand closed around his arm, halting him.

"Hey," the man's voice was deep, and Sasuke's eyes flicked closed a moment as he grit his teeth. High school had been one long, humiliating coming out party for him, and he had no desire for history to repeat itself. No one in this new city could learn his secret. Sasuke pursed his lips.

Prepared, Sasuke turned slowly, his face perfectly poised and his eyebrows arched disdainfully. The man faltered, and Sasuke saw blue eyes dance not-so-subtly over him.

"Uh, um, I'm Naruto," the man said somewhat breathlessly.

"That's nice." Sasuke said coldly. He looked away from the entrancing blue eyes, searching for an escape. Pulling easily out of the man's slackened grip, he walked calmly over to the nearest door and pried it open, praying he had discovered the bathroom.

Apparently, someone up there cared, because Sasuke found himself in a rather nasty-smelling water closet with the ugliest flower-motif he'd ever seen. Closing the door and locking it firmly behind him, Sasuke let out a long-suffering sigh. _Stupid man. Way to make my life difficult. _But Sasuke wasn't worried; he knew that no man, no matter how handsome or charming, could make it passed his resolve. Sasuke was not going to get into a relationship any time soon. Having consoled himself, Sasuke shook out his uniform. And stared. _Oh, God, no._

Naruto's eyes were still glued to the place he'd last seen the dark haired man. Slapping himself out of it, he tilted his head back contemplatively. _What a jerk. What a goddamn sexy jerk. _Naruto shook his head. He stood awkwardly in front of the bathroom door a moment longer. _What just happened?_ The dark haired man had looked completely fuckable all wide-eyed and flushed, then he'd pulled on the cactus mask and gone prickly. _What the hell? _Naruto's forehead wrinkled in contemplation as he stared at the closed door. Shrugging, he walked back across the room to the computer. _Well, that was awkward._

Anko poked her head through the indoor window in the door to the front office. "Did he find the bathroom alright?"

Naruto grunted a "yeah."

She grinned, shifting her gaze to the closed door, "He's a looker, that one."

Naruto just smiled slightly and followed her gaze to where Sasuke had disappeared.

"I hired him, you know," the woman's eyes shot back to Naruto's and her smile stretched disturbingly. "I deserve a raise for such a good find. You should talk me up to Sabaku."

Naruto could tell she was mostly joking. He looked at her sideways, and snorted, "We haven't seen him in action yet. He could be terrible."

Anko shrugged, looking unconcerned, "As understaffed as we are, we can't afford to lose him, even if he leaves much to be … desired."

The woman gave Naruto a rather calculating stare, "Though, speaking of desire, I'm surprised you're not humping his leg by now. I thought you'd recognize a good-looking man when you saw one. I take it he's not your type?"

Naruto fixed her with a scathing glare. Before he could retort, the bell in the front office dinged again.

"Goddamnit," Anko snarled, her smile vanishing, "I really hate that thing."

Her head disappeared as she went to assist up front. Naruto glared at nothing in particular as he turned back to the computer in front of him. He mindlessly checked the database for the next client, grabbed their chart and went up front.

**&$$#!$#$#**

Sasuke fingered the thin polyester fabric of his new scrubs in dismay. The top was a sort of smock – _with a V-neck_ – and the crotch of his pants hung awkwardly low. The color, a dusky blue, he didn't mind, but _God,_ the ensemble was _hideous_. Sasuke stared at his reflection in disgust.

Scrubs were standard dress at the clinic, so all the techs' clothing were uniform. Funny, it hadn't looked particularly bad on any of his coworkers. Somehow, they'd managed to maintain an amount of dignity. Vaguely, he wondered how they wore their polyester soul-killers with such grace.

Resigned to his fate, Sasuke sighed. At least he wasn't the only one in ugly clothing. Finally calm, his mind returned full-force to his sudden mental short-circuit in the presence of that Naruto person. Sasuke frowned at his reflection. _But there's nothing to worry about. There is no way I'd humiliate myself for the likes of him. _He sighed again, running his hand over his face. He pulled his fingers away and his scowl was back in full force. Sasuke gained comfort in his returning sense of superiority. Squaring his shoulders, he turned to the door and prepared to face the lions.

But not before spraying the bathroom heartily with air freshener.

**U$$#!**

Sakura made her way past the 'Authorized Personnel Only' door that lead to the back of the clinic and dropped her purse gracelessly into her cubby. She'd been up all night watching therapeutic chick flicks with some friends and was dog-tired. Sakura yawned broadly, knowing she wouldn't be fully alive until after her coffee. By the smell of it, someone had already started a pot. She smiled to herself, thankful for small miracles. Stretching her arms above her pink head, she turned around – and locked eyes with the most beautiful man she'd ever seen.

His black hair flipped up in back, hung forward around his face, and probably would have looked ridiculous on anyone else. But somehow he pulled it off. From across the room, his eyes looked black. The V-neck of his uniform revealed the hollow of his throat, and she thought suddenly that it made him seem oddly delicate. Like he might blow away if the wind caught him just right. Her eyes moved lower. His uniform was stiff and creased, obviously new. He gave off an enigmatic vibe that, along with his beauty, attracted her. Yet a certain vibe he gave off left her with the odd desire not to get closer but to admire him from a distance. Her roaming eyes moved back to his face, and she mused at its blankness. Then he raised a perfect eyebrow and she realized to her sudden horror that her arms were still up in the air. A slight flush graced her cheeks.

Attempting to cover her embarrassment, Sakura quickly finished her stretch before lowering her arms. She took a few hasty steps closer the silent man.

"You're the new guy, right?"

The man didn't grace her with an answer. He gave her an aloof look that clearly said, _'Obviously.'_

"Right," She mumbled, before enunciating, "Well, I'm Sakura."

There was an awkward silence. Then a clipped, "Sasuke Uchiha."

Sakura maintained a silent thrill at the sound of his voice and repressed a bout of giggles. "Right," she said again, replacing her nerves with a professional calm. She was in her element. She could take this. She cleared her throat, "Okay, Sasuke, since this is your first day here," she paused, looking at him for affirmation. He gave none. Deciding two could play the game, she continued, "I'll show you around real quick. We have a busy morning ahead of us, so you'll have plenty to do."

Bustling off, she whisked him around the clinic. She showed him the examination rooms, surgery room, the hospital ward, the x-ray table and the bathroom (again). There was a refrigerator for vaccinations and a smaller one for people. She showed him a pair of gridded basins in back where procedures were performed on smaller animals. By it was the ICU ward, a stack of cages dedicated to critically injured patients. There were six computers and a multitude of printers hidden in a variety of cabinets, shelves, and other bizarre places. Sakura took a quiet pride in the clinic and how much it had progressed in the short three years she had worked there. Her silent companion's apparent disdain for the place did not escape her, but she ignored it. _In time,_ she told herself. _He'll learn in time._

She led him toward the glass back door, pointing out the autoclave and doctor's office on the way. They approached an elevated porcelain bathtub. "The grooming ward," Sakura pointed out another stack of cages and looked back at Sasuke as though introducing him, "and the tub." She turned around, looking the man straight in the face. "You'll be spending a lot of time here. When the cages are dirty, you'll wash the grates back here using this," she touched a squirt bottle of bleach, "and this," she held up an bristly off-white scrub brush. She proceeded to explain that there was a "people sponge" for "people dishes." Sakura had apparently misplaced it, but informed him it was unmistakably heart-shaped and not to wash any "people dishes" without it. The last time Naruto had, she'd made sure he'd walked with a limp for a week.

"Well, I have to get to work now, no more slacking," she grinned at Sasuke, but he ignored her. Sobering, she cleared her throat, "Right. Cages 6 and 8 are dirty. Take the grates to the tub and wash them like I showed you. Then go back and clean the cages." Sakura pointed at a collection of squirt bottles and paper towels stacked on top of the grooming ward. "There're supplies on top of every ward. Spray the cages with Fulsan and wipe them down with paper towels."

With a wave and a cheerful "have fun," Sakura made a beeline for the coffee machine to pour herself a good strong cup.

**&#$#&**

The pinball launched, ricocheting mutely off bumpers and shooting through wormholes. Gaara stared unblinkingly as his fingers pecked the keyboard, triggering flippers and keeping the little silver ball flying across the monitor.

Footsteps passed, and he heard Sakura's voice echoing throughout the clinic. The noise faded and more footsteps passed. Snuggled deep within his office, Gaara scored 500 points. Through his focus, he recognized the squeaky tread of Naruto's sneakers and heard the other's feet stop at the open door of his office. The tech rapped his knuckles gently against the frame before approaching the doctor. Gaara scored another 500 points, feigning ignorance of the other's presence. A hand rested on his shoulder, and Gaara closed his eyes at the touch.

"There are patients waiting for you in exam rooms 1 and 3." Naruto paused, surveying the screen. Despite his closed eyes, Gaara was still going strong. "Has Kiba beaten your high score yet?"

Gaara smirked. "The day Inuzuka beats my high score by his own devices, it'll be time for me to pass the clinic on to him."

Gaara leaned his head back and opened his eyes, staring up at the man above him. He was smirking. Naruto snorted.

"Yeah, and then hell will freeze over and end Global Warming. You mean never. Is that your way of telling me to eat shit or grow a brain?" Gaara's smirk stretched as Naruto eyed him in mock offense. The doctor remained silent and the blond rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, move your butt, slacker. We have clients waiting." Naruto smacked the redhead's shoulder familiarly before waltzing out of the office.

Alone, Gaara's smirk faded and his eyes were oddly vacant. Lifting his hand, he brought it up to his shoulder, fingers gently brushing where the other's had been.

**&$$#!$#$#**

Anko had hidden the bell. The stainless steel bane of her existence was now securely stashed behind an impregnable mountain of canned dog food. Chuckling evilly at her accomplishment, she smiled extra hard at the customer before her. He shifted uneasily.

"Your flea medicine will be here in a moment," she told him smoothly, her teeth bared in a terrifyingly gleeful expression. There were a few more moments of silence, smug for the receptionist and uncomfortable for the customer, before a blue eye shone through the indoor window. Naruto flashed a grin and handed over the merchandise. Anko leaned over and plucked the box of Frontline out of the tech's brown fingers and handed it to the customer in a mockery of a relay race. She had barely finished ringing him up when a screen door banged open and a boy flew in, his oversized scarf swinging in after. His face-splitting smile vanished at the sight of the woman behind the counter. He narrowed his eyes at Anko, his face bunching up into a scowl.

"Why are _you_ here?" He snarled, pointing an accusatory finger at the receptionist.

"_I_ work here. Clearly the better question is: why are _you_ here?" Anko replied coolly, a sneer breaking out across her face, "Shouldn't you be at day care or something, brat?"

"Where's Tsunade?" The boy peered around suspiciously, as though the voluptuous woman might suddenly spring from behind a dog carrier.

"Not here, obviously," Anko's lip curled, "she's sick. Listening to you babble must have worn down her immune system."

The boy's face purpled and he howled, "You're so full of shit!" before spinning around and storming out of the clinic.

Anko chuckled, suddenly feeling far better than she had before. She returned to typing, humming quietly to herself.

In a corner of the room, the Frontline customer slowly unfurled from the fetal position.

**#$#&$$#**

Naruto led his charge into the back. He had shaken off Sakura's help, deciding that now was as good a time as ever to get a feel for the new guy. He pulled a muzzle off a hook on the wall. The dog was scheduled for a blood test. She was a heavy animal, with a tucked tail and big brown eyes. She didn't look happy to be there at all.

Naruto caught the dark haired man as he tried to pass him in the hall. He gave him his most charming smile.

"Hey, mind giving me a hand?"

The man eyed him warily before nodding. It was a slight jerk of the head, barely enough to indicate his assent, and he followed as Naruto led them to an area open for procedures. Sitting the dog and squatting next to it, Naruto clipped the muzzle over her face. He beckoned the silent man to the floor beside him and handed over the syringe. He squirted rubbing alcohol over part of the dog's foreleg and indicated the area to the man.

"Okay, newbie, think you can draw some blood for me?"

"What, you can't?" The man's voice was cool and indifferent, mocking. He looked somewhat irked at the 'newbie' comment.

"Oh, I can. I'm just testing you. Humor me?" Naruto replied cheerfully, cranking his charm up a notch.

The man grunted and took the needle's sheath between his teeth. Grinning, Naruto wrapped an arm around the dog's chest and grabbed her leg to steady it. She was shaking like a leaf. The new tech bent low in front of the dog, taking her leg into his hand and tapping for a vein. He pressed the needle into her skin and Naruto felt her give a little jump. He tapped her head to distract her, crooning quietly. The new tech slowly drew back the pump and the syringe began to fill with red liquid. Naruto opened his mouth.

"Hey, you got a name?" That was not so smooth.

Impossibly dark eyes found his. They rolled sarcastically. "No, my parents turned in a blank birth certificate. They just couldn't decide."

Naruto chuckled, deciding to take what could only be a joke into stride, "Okay, No-Name. Think you got enough blood there? We want a sample, not a dead dog."

The man swore. He yanked out the needle, pressing a cotton ball to the small wound. The syringe was almost full and had about four times the amount of blood they needed.

Rising to his feet, the new tech stared lividly at the mishap. He seethed silently, and slowly dragged his burning eyes to Naruto's face. Naruto felt his baggy uniform pants readjust slightly. _Damn, _the No-Name bastard was hot when he was angry.

The man reined his temper, and said with astounding calm, "In the future, it would be appreciated if you kept your mouth shut. I don't need distractions."

Naruto stood as well, the leash in his hand tightening as the dog tried and failed to run for it. He leaned forward, tilting his head so his mouth came dangerously close to the dark haired man's ear. His voice lowered seductively and he said, "Do I distract you?"

The other tech's response was to lurch away. He glared furiously at the smiling Naruto, and gripped the loaded syringe like a weapon.

Another man took that moment to pass by. He paused briefly to assess the situation before looking at Naruto.

"Do try to refrain from flirting at work, Uzumaki." He said coolly.

Naruto's eyes shifted to the man who'd spoken. His smile broadened. "Sorry if I scarred your virgin eyes, Gaara dearest."

Gaara snorted a "hardly," but didn't smile. He gave the new tech a calculating once-over before looking back at Naruto.

"Call me if I'm needed," he said, stalking off in the direction of his office for another game of virtual pinball.

Naruto threw a "can do," after the retreating doctor. He sighed, turning back to the guy who still hadn't introduced himself.

"Look, I'm not going to rape you, so chill." He held out a hand for the blood and traded it for the dog's leash. "This girl is called Shana. Would you take her out front and give her to her mom? Thanks."

The dark-haired tech left, and Naruto took the blood to the designated machine. He went through the motions with his mind on Gaara. The vet was in a bad mood, and Naruto secretly hoped there were no euthanasia cases today. The last thing Gaara needed was another death on his mind.

**$#!$!$#!#$#&**

Sasuke was bored. After that humiliating incident with the blood work, he'd been left with only menial chores to entertain himself. Sakura and Naruto had been too busy to find things for him to do. He'd finished all the dirty cages, and the clean grates stood drying against the wall. He glared irritably at the wall. Sasuke wasn't sure what to do. He could always ask, but he didn't like to ask for directions. He knew he already looked like a china doll and refused to compromise his masculinity any farther.

So he settled for trying to burn holes in the wall with his eyes. Several silent minutes of Sasuke struggling to cause combustion on eye contact commenced. Fortunately for the clinic, a streaking grey _something_ caught Sasuke's eye and interrupted his failing attempts at telekinesis. He glanced down and saw that whatever it was had taken a seat at his feet and was staring up at him. He saw pointy ears and recognized it as an enormous grey cat. Sasuke jumped a little. The grey monstrosity was gazing up at him with a half-lidded eye, its other one closed and scarred, apparently missing. It was gargantuan and obese, and if he hadn't seen it move earlier, Sasuke would have wondered if it had legs underneath its underneath.

Sasuke stared down at the cat. It stared back. Apparently bored with this epic staring exchange, the cat leapt up onto a nearby table with surprising grace and glanced back at Sasuke before heading over to scratch in a litter box.

Sasuke snorted in disgust and heard the padding of footsteps. He turned and saw Sakura hastily approaching him with a carrier in one hand.

"Oh, good, you're done already?"

_Already?_ Sasuke smirked wryly.

Sakura was smiling thinly at him. "Right. Anyway, Sasuke, this is Dotty," she lifted the carrier up to eye-level and brandished it at the new tech. He saw the gleam of yellow eyes and swallowed. "Dotty, this is Sasuke. Now that introductions are over, this stinky girl needs a bath. Mind washing her for me?"

Sasuke had no time to reply as Dotty, complete with carrier, was thrust into his arms. Sakura turned to the tub and fiddled with the spray nozzle.

"Right, this should be a good temperature. The shampoo's over there. She's one of our regular's so don't worry, she's gentle." Sakura was already walking away. "And try not to get soap into her eyes!"

Sasuke looked down at the carrier in his arms with dismay.

The cat inside was growling. It was a deep, bad-tempered sound.

Sasuke couldn't help but feel that this was karma.

**$$#$$U$#$$$$**

The afternoon was winding down and dusk was approaching. The wind was picking up, scattering leaves and chilling the evening. Both Sakura and Anko were having a smoke outside, leaning against New Leaf clinic's massive windows. There were no more clients for the day and Dr Sabaku had already gone home. Naruto had followed sounds of piteous meowing to the tub, where he found the new enigma rubbing shampoo into a rather disgruntled cat. Naruto recognized Dotty, in for her regular grooming session.

He watched, amused, as his new coworker carefully rinsed the mewling beast and dropped a towel onto her back, rubbing gently. Naruto approached, the squeak of his sneakers giving him away. The man glanced idly at him as he dried the cat's tail. Naruto reached the grooming ward and set up a clean cage, throwing down a towel and hooking up a cumbersome blow-drying device. He stood back for the new tech to put away the cat. When he set Dotty down and withdrew from the cage, Naruto closed Dotty's cage and switched on the blow dryer. His eyes caught dark ones and he arched a blond eyebrow.

"You going to tell me your name now or am I going to have to make up an embarrassing nickname for you?"

The other man gave him a calculating look. "It's Sasuke."

"Sasuke," Naruto repeated, smiling. "Ready to close up shop?"

There was a nod, and Naruto followed Sasuke out of the room, hitting a switch that killed the flood of fluorescent light. In the semidarkness, he turned to the dark haired man, a grin in his voice.

"Welcome to the team."

**A/N** Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fic. Hope it didn't burn your eyes out! Chapter 2 will be out eventually. Ciao!


	2. Let Them Lie

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto and the patients are not real people.

**A/N ** Wow, this took ridiculously long to write. Unbelievable. Anyway, here it is. It starts off with a "new" character's perspective. Sorry about that. In the future I'll try to make things smoother. As it is, if I worked on this any longer I'd wind up deleting it. Argh.

**Warnings: **Unbeta'd, corniness, sharp objects, Anko...

**A New Leaf**

**Chapter 2 – Let Them Lie**

Konohamaru was up before his alarm, prancing around his bedroom with a chipper enthusiasm that would have annoyed Mother Teresa. The sky was still dark with the congested grey of predawn but the boy had the energy of the Easter Bunny. He hopped around the room, trying to stuff his feet into a pair of blue jeans. Flailing against the confines of a Tshirt, he charged out into the hall.

Konohamaru made a disaster of the bathroom. In his zeal for fresh breath, he twisted the toothpaste with a little too much enthusiasm and was startled by the explosion of white and blue as the tube burst. His energetic lunge for a wad of toilet paper to clean up the mess sent his mother's contacts flying into the toilet. She didn't know yet, but he was sure that once she did (and she would), she would not be pleased.

Kohonamaru stumbled into the kitchen. It was cramped yet tidy, maintained with a touch of masculine finesse, courtesy of the Boyfriend, his mother's latest. Konohamaru scowled. His mother had terrible taste in men. Not that Konohamaru really gave any of her boyfriends a chance; he was always loath to share his mother.

He galloped moodily toward the counter and leaned against it. Braced against the tile, Konohamaru caught his reflection in the microwave and leered. He'd grown a bit since school had started and had finally breached five feet. It was a small triumph, but it had him braving life with a sort of irrational vigor. He yanked open a cupboard door and fished around for a box of cereal. He dragged it out, grimacing at the high fiber content. _Old men these days…_

Konohamaru poured himself a bowl and was happily munching away by the time his mother came into the kitchen. Her hair was styled neatly and she was dressed for work, her makeup tactfully done up. She smiled blearily at her son.

"Honey, have you seen my contacts?"

Konohamaru swallowed hastily and began to talk fast, "No, but hey! Did you know? I had a really cool dream last night. I was a ninja, and I could fight and fly around and yeah!" He fidgeted anxiously, sneaking sidelong glances at his mother, who was microwaving herself a mug of tea.

She had been listening patiently, and settled across the table from her son, tea in hand. "Hmm. How was that?"

Konohamaru frowned, swirling his spoon in the leftover milk in his bowl. "Pretty cool," he said musingly. "You know, Naruto was a ninja, too. He could turn into a naked lady. He taught me how to do it too. It was pretty weird."

She cast her son a searching look, a thoughtful expression on her face. He didn't see it, but there was something calculating in her eyes. She looked away and began to sip her tea, the handle of the mug standing straight up like a flag. Peering over the dregs of his cereal, the boy admired his mother. She was beautiful, that much he knew. She had long, curling dark hair and hooded mahogany eyes. She was graceful and looked almost delicate, but he knew better. She'd raised him alone after his father left. _At least, almost alone._ The kitchen door opened, and it was with a sort of oedipal defensiveness that Konohamaru shot his eyes over to glare at the Boyfriend.

He was smoking. _Typcal._ Konohamaru squinted at him and scrunched up his nose, making a point to cough a few times in reminder to his mother that second hand smoke was bad.

"Cover your mouth when you cough, dear."

It didn't work.

As he passed Konohamaru's mother, the Boyfriend kissed her briefly on the lips before heading on to bustle around the kitchen. Konohamaru glared. The Boyfriend was tall and muscular, with a black beard like the wizard in the story. He was a professor at the university, and lived on campus in the faculty housing when he wasn't spending the night _here._ Resentment bubbled under the boy's skin as the Boyfriend rummaged through the fridge.

Clearing his throat, Konohamaru coughed again, this time covering his mouth and gasping a little, making certain to grasp at his throat as he mimed a coughing fit. When he raised his eyes again, concern was written all over his mother's face.

"Are you alright?" Her forehead was wrinkled with worry.

Konohamaru sighed, thoroughly enjoying playing the martyr, "Yeah, but could I open a window? It's awful _smoky_ in here." He knew if he looked at the Boyfriend he wouldn't be able to contain his malicious laughter.

She rose to her feet and practically glided over to the window, "Of _course,_ darling. Honey, would you put your cigarette out?"

About to comply, the Boyfriend caught Konohamaru's eyes. The boy was leering at him. With a twitch of the eyebrow, he counterattacked, smiling playfully at his girlfriend.

"Oh, you know I can't do that, smoking is part of my image."

She laughed, securing the window. Konohamaru scowled. The Boyfriend looked at Konohamaru as he spoke to his mother, "Hey, I'm making pancakes. Do I have any takers?"

The mother bent over the counter to kiss him, "Sorry, sweetie, I have to take this kid to school."

He smiled. "Another time, then." He winked at Konohamaru, "Ah, well, more for me." The boy twitched. He was a fan of fried bread.

"Come on, honey," his mother said, taking her coat and keys. Konohamaru scrambled after her, grabbing his backpack and heaving it onto his shoulder. "Get a jacket, it's not summer anymore."

The boy grunted and began to rummage around in the closet.

His mother leaned into the Boyfriend, "Have a nice day," she said against his lips. He smiled and kissed her.

"Oh, Kurenai?"

"Hm?"

"Any idea what your contacts are doing in the toilet?"

She raised a quizzical eyebrow and looked up at the man. Something glittered in her eyes.

"Hey! I'm ready to go. Are you going to stand around all day?" The boy shouted impatiently from the door, hefting his backpack onto one shoulder. He had donned a thin jacket, but wore a hat and scarf. He was a fan of scarves, and had been wearing them long before scarves became _scarves_ – that is, fashionable – in Konoha.

His mother turned to him, smiling as she approached. "Coming, dear. I have something to ask you, actually..."

The rest of her sentence was lost as the front door closed behind them, leaving the Boyfriend smirking in the kitchen.

**$$$$$$$U$$$$$$**

Anko sauntered into the back of the clinic, trailing the leash of a very small dog. Marching purposefully, she led her charge to a gridded exam table. She couldn't help a saucy smirk as Sakura let out a little yelp of joy.

"Trudy! My favourite puppy in the world! Are you ready to get your teeth cleaned?" Sakura cooed, bending over the wiggling animal. Trudy squirmed happily, delighted at the attention as the tech scooped her up into her arms.

Sakura plopped the dog on the table and looped a restraining noose around her neck. She ran her fingers soothingly over Trudy's sides as Anko adjusted the dental equipment. Letting Anko watch the dog, Sakura reached for the syringe and the little bottle containing the sedative. She pierced the bottle's cap and carefully measured the injection. Trudy stared on with bulgings eyes, her tail wagging furiously.

Anko adjusted her hold, steadying one of the dog's forelegs for the needle. Trudy's tail increased its velocity until it was practically battering Anko. Sakura tapped for a vein and pierced the skin. Trudy's yelp rose in pitch until she was screaming like a small child in distress. Sakura finished injecting the sedative and pulled out, crooning, "There, there," at the dog. With the needle gone, Trudy was quiet, her tail returning to its rapid slashing.

"Man," Sakura said, stretching, "I'm _covered_ in bruises."

"Yeah?" said Anko, frowning as she stroked Trudy's head. "What happened?"

"Oh, you know, my man's back in town," Sakura winked. "They're the good kind."

Anko smiled distractedly. "Oh."

Naruto poked his head around the corner, dragging a chart and scowling Sasuke with him. He laughed. "Looks like we missed the show, O angsty one."

Sasuke's eyebrow arched irritably, "You agreed not to make shit up once you knew my name, or did you forget? Idiot."

Naruto showed too many teeth as he smiled at his companion, "What are you talking about? I never promised _not_ to make up humiliating nicknames, I just said I _would_ if you didn't divulge the real thing. Learn to read the Terms and Conditions before signing on next time, _Sasuke_."

The new tech's scowl deepened and he exhaled a tsk.

"Don't frown too hard or your face might stick that way," Naruto remarked sagely before turning back toward the women with a frown of his own. "Man, we missed Sakura poking into her favorite screamer."

Sasuke's head turned very slowly, an appalled _What the hell did you just do to that poor animal_ look written into the arc of his eyebrow. Sakura flushed scarlet.

"Naruto!"

"What? Look at the poor little wiener. He's shaking!"

_"She!"_

"Oh, so a wienette, then."

"Naruto."

He gave a little jump as Anko addressed him with her deadly smile. His obnoxiously bright expression flickered.

"I heard the door up front. Why don't you go check it?" It was not a question, and the blond tech hopped to it, saluting the little group with a cheeky smile as he disappeared behind the door. Anko snickered.

Sasuke gave her a brief, wondering look. She made losing Naruto look _easy._ He turned away without a word, heading toward the pharmacy (in the opposite direction Naruto had taken) and musing that he had something to learn from that feisty woman.

In his wake, Sakura moved to another exam table with a sigh, rinsing off some surgical instruments she was going to pack up for the autoclave. Anko began to feed an oxygen tube down the sleeping Trudy's throat in preparation for the dental.

"What do you think's up with Naruto?" Sakura asked, grabbing a fistful of gauze.

Anko adjusted the tube. "Oh, don't mind him. He's trying to show off for the new guy."

She caught Sakura's skeptical eye and let out a quick laugh.

"Don't you think he's been more obnoxious than usual lately? And the lost puppy routine? Give me a break. He's just sore that Sasuke has no trouble resisting his 'charms.'" Anko sighed. "Being the most annoying man Sasuke's ever met isn't going to help his case, but Naruto's got the romantic sense of a headless chicken. Ah, well, boys will be boys." She shrugged before returning her gaze to Sakura with a wolfish grin, "Who knows? A little rejection might even him out a bit. The whole situation's burning such a hole in his ego it's hilarious."

Cackling, Anko bent ominously over the unconscious dog, groping for the pointy dental instruments. She wedged Trudy's mouth open, and clamped a pulse sensor to her tongue. The little dachshund was an image of pitiful; her mouth forced open into a snarl around the tube, and her little legs poking awkwardly out of her long, limp body.

Sakura pursed her lips in thought as Anko tested the electric tartar remover on the edge of the table. After a moment, she sighed, her eyebrows buckling. "Poor Naruto."

Anko paused, stilling almost imperceptibly. She looked slowly up at Sakura, her face so serious she looked almost sad. But then her mouth sprang into one of her typical devilish smiles and she snorted, "I guess. But if Sasuke's not interested, shouldn't Naruto take a hint?"

Cheerful whistling rang down the hall, interrupting their discussion. The women fell silent, falling back into the rhythm of their work. The whistling got louder and Kiba came into view. He grinned at Sakura, his eyes bouncing up and down her figure. "Hey, there, beautiful."

She gave him a charming smile, "With all due respect, Dr Inuzuka, I've got my hands on a spay kit and I know how to use it."

He paled slightly and his eyes stilled on the metal instruments at her fingers. With no regard for personal safety, he then looked back up at her face and grinned audaciously. "Still full of spunk, I see. That's my girl!"

Sakura lifted a particularly large pair of scissors into the air and snipped, smile still in place.

Kiba took the hint and sidled away to a computer, grumbling to himself.

Naruto came back in, looking over a chart. He glanced up at Kiba and drawled, "Ah, doctor, we've got a guy in there, says there're worms in his dog's eye." He held two fingers to his lips and sucked in air, a comical expression on his face. He exhaled. "Smells like dope. I doubt you'll find anything."

Kiba took the chart, smirking. He clapped a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Hey, man, you want to come drinking tonight? I'm going to scout some chicks."

Naruto grinned, "Hell yeah. Count me in!"

Kiba gave the tech's shoulder another affectionate slap as he continued on his way. Once the exam room door had closed behind the doctor, Naruto flicked through the client database. He heard the front door chime and straightened, "And here comes the next one." He grinned as he strode up front, "Booked to the second. I wouldn't have it any other way."

**#$#$((&$$$$$**

While dusting the pharmacy, Sasuke came upon a very suspicious-looking clean streak. All of the bottles and boxes had been shoved strategically out of the way, and he saw a few telling paw prints in the surrounding blanket of dust. His only thought at that moment was that there was a reason the one-eyed cat was grey.

To tell the truth, he didn't spend much time pondering the matter. He finished dusting, rearranged the bottles and was completely taken by surprise an hour later when confronted with a vengeful cat.

It sat slothfully at his feet, its lone eye glittering evilly up at him. Rage was written into every grey hair. Sasuke cursed colorfully in his head as he realized he'd destroyed its nest. Who knew what kind of scandalous voyeuristic escapades he'd ruined for the grey ball of fluff?

Sasuke swallowed. This could not be happening. He was a grown man. He had a black belt in Karate. He had survived the California public school system. He was being threatened with death and a world of pain by a one-eyed cat.

Life sucked. His horoscope had been _wrong._

Sasuke didn't dare move. He recognized impending doom when he saw it. In fact, he was focused so intently on his would-be murderer that he was, yet again, completely taken by surprise at the appearance of his savior.

His only warning was a flash of yellow and a horrified widening of the cat's eye before it was scooped into the air. Naruto held the cat like a baby and it stretched itself out leisurely in his arms. Tanned fingers scratched expertly behind the cat's ears, and its evil eye fell to a benevolent half-moon. Within a few seconds, Naruto had tamed the beast and saved the princess. Sasuke felt like he was trapped in a Disney movie. He narrowed his eyes. If Naruto started singing, he would kill him.

"I see you've met _Sasuke." _He was talking to the cat. Good god he was talking to the _cat._ And who gave him permission to say his name in that gooey, endearing tone?

Blue eyes snuck over to Sasuke's face and Naruto's smile stretched at the expression there. "Sasuke, this is Kakashi, our clinic cat. He's a total love bug. Come give him a pet." Naruto smiled generously, as though he was offering Sasuke a sugar cookie, not assassination.

"Thanks, I'll pass," Sasuke said coldly, attempting a quick escape into an empty exam room.

Naruto dropped Kakashi, who fell gracefully on all four feet and marched away with his tail stuck up like a flag, a flash of cat butt saying exactly what he thought of them. The blond pouted. Usually guys dig the cute animal routine. Maybe he was losing his touch?

With a shouted protest of, "Hey, wait up!" Naruto chased after the retreating tech. After all, he had a whole repertoire of "romantic tactics" tucked up his polyester sleeve. He wasn't about to give up now.

**$$#!)(&$#!$!#$#$$$**

Konohamaru leaned against a building, gasping for air. He bent forward, grabbing his knees and hanging his head, his breath a white mist. Throwing cautious glances up and down the street, he resumed his course at a more agreeable pace. He was cutting class and didn't want to be caught. With that thought in mind, he pulled his hat down over his eyebrows and arranged his scarf so that it hid some of his face. Feeling adequately disguised, Konohamaru began to brood.

Generally speaking, brooding was not in his nature. However, that afternoon, the day seemed to call for it. The sky was the color of wet concrete and every now and then a cold, dry wind would rattle between the buildings. Dead leaves had turned to sludge in the gutters and Konohamaru could smell the sewage treatment plant from where he walked. The miserable weather sunk in as he glumly reflected on his attendance record.

He cut class more than he should. He hated school. He hated the useless busywork, the biased teachers, even the unforgiving ways of his fellow students. He hated the system and it was failing him. Or maybe it was the other way around.

Konohamaru scowled at the ground, scuffing his feet against the cracked sidewalk. The worst part was he'd really tried today. He had sat himself very straight all first period and forbade himself from doodling. It had been mostly as a punishment to himself for ruining the bathroom that morning. His mother had gently reminded her son not to be so careless and had sent him disappointed vibes the entire car ride over.

He knew she would never punish him properly, so he punished himself. He forced himself to try in class. As he paid rapt attention to the lectures, he realized much to his increasing chagrin that he didn't understand most of the coursework. By second period, misery had sunk in and all he could think about was his crack-brained grandfather wheezing and cackling that it's "all downhill from here."

So he ditched. It seemed the logical option. Live every day as your last, right? Well he'd be damned if he was going down in a classroom.

Konohamaru slunk around another street corner, keeping a weather eye out and feeling very much James Bond. He was on his way to New Leaf. Tsunade had been sick lately, and despite being extremely cool and above such emotions, Konohamaru was feeling somewhat concerned. Today was a day she was typically on call, and he was hoping she would be in.

But first, he had to make sure he got there in one piece. He was on a mission of stealth. His mouth curved up and his eyes squinted evilly, chuckling at his own sneaky maneuvers as he darted between parked cars. He heard the clicking of an approaching bicycle and threw himself behind a blue Honda. He couldn't restrain a giggle as the stranger sped by unwittingly. He thought he saw something move in the car's reflective door and froze when someone spoke behind him.

"Fancy finding you here. Can you take a dump somewhere else? You're in my way," said the voice. Konohamaru whipped around, face ashen, prepared to bolt. He did a double take when he recognized the man.

"Shikamaru!" It came out more shill than he'd intended. Konohamaru dramatically clutched his shirt above his heart, "you almost killed me."

The man gave him a long, unreadable look. Then he blinked, a bored expression permeating his face. "Did you know that a rabbit will kill itself when it thinks it's going to die?" He said blandly, as though he didn't expect an answer.

Konohamaru answered anyway, his face bunching up in distaste. "That's stupid. What does it do, hide a knife under its fur just-in-case?" he scoffed, heaving himself to his feet and walking beside the man as he resumed his leisurely pace.

"Heart attack," the man said absently.

"Huh?"

Shikamaru let out a long-suffering sigh. "When a rabbit thinks it's going to die, its heart will burst. An automatic suicide." His eyes were distant and his tone of voice indicated closure.

The man stopped at a fire hydrant, removing his backpack and setting it cautiously on top. The boy stopped with him and watched as he pulled out a loaf of bread before pulling the bag back onto his shoulders. Resuming the pace, Shikamaru tore a hunk off the loaf and nibbled at it. He glanced down at Konohamaru.

"Want some?"

"Is it from the dumpster behind the bakery?"

"Yes."

"No, thanks."

Konohamaru was quiet a moment, before his face lit up in recollection. "Hey, Shikamaru, you were telling me a story last time, remember? About the boy who got hit by a truck? You didn't finish. Tell me now? Pleease?"

Despondent eyes didn't move from the scenery. Shikamaru took his time rolling the bread around in his mouth before responding. "Hmm. His subjects were shocked to discover that he was a turnip. The end."

Konohamaru's mouth hung open. He spluttered. "What? That's not the end!"

"It's the end."

"No it's not! That would be stupid. It doesn't make sense! What happened to the boy?"

"What boy?"

"The one in the _story. _Duh!"

"Oh, him."

"Yes, him. Well? Going to give your story some closure?"

"No."

"Gah, you're hopeless!"

The man's distant eyes softened slightly and if he hadn't been so livid, Konohamaru might have seen the corners of his mouth twitch.

**!#)(&$#!$!$$$$**

"Wake up. Come on, girly girl, wake up," Anko said in a singsong voice. She reached down an arm and shook the dog, the gesture rattling the exam table. When Trudy didn't react, Anko checked her breathing and gave a few experimental pumps of air into the tube still down the dog's throat. She bustled around the room, putting away a few stray bottles before going back to shake the dog.

It took a few minutes, but Trudy's glassy eyes finally blinked and she sat up groggily. Trying to inhale around the tube in her throat, she choked and began to hack. She let out a panicked whine that escalated into a full-out shriek. Anko quickly removed the tube and Trudy's mouth hung open, letting out a series of terrified screams that sounded disturbingly human.

Anko scooped her up, cuddling the unhappy dog as she stared ahead with dilated, unseeing eyes. She set Trudy on a towel in a small cage in the Hospital Ward. She closed the door to the ward to muffle the dog's agonized wailing and sat beside the cage. She tilted her head against the wall and closed her eyes. She licked her lips and began to tell a story about a boy who was hit by a car.

**#!$$!$#!$$$$U$$$$$$$$$$$**

Sasuke, who had been in the process of fleeing another of Naruto's attempts at romance, froze at the sound of a woman's bloodcurdling scream. He stood perfectly still, thrumming with tension and listening intently. He could hear her sobbing and shrieking in another fit of hysteria. His feet led him automatically toward the disturbance. She had probably broken something. She would hold him and cry, making his shirt damp with her snot and tears. She would beg him not to leave her, saying she needed her baby boy, she needed her son. And he would let her cry. He would sit stiffly beside her as she clung to him, and there would be no emotion on his face. He would clean up the mess and carry her to her bed, but when the summer ended he would still leave for college.

Sasuke blinked at the empty room. He was standing in front of an exam table littered with the evidence of a dental. He was at the clinic, at work. The summer had ended; he was in college. He had left his mother's house behind. Sasuke took a deep breath as he pulled himself back together. Someone bumped into him from behind and a strong arm wrapped around his chest as he stumbled. Somehow, he didn't have the energy to be angry.

"Sasuke, you alright?" He felt hot breath on the back of his neck.

He didn't reply, opting instead to slither out of Naruto's grip. He didn't feel like being touched right then.

Across the room, another door opened and Dr Inuzuka came striding in. His eyes caught on the two techs and a smile stretched across his face.

"You won't believe it," he said triumphantly, watching Naruto closely for his reaction.

"Won't I?" Naruto said, a wry smile on his face.

"Remember that guy who said there were worms in his dog's eye?"

Naruto laughed, "The one who smelled like weed?" Kiba didn't reply. Instead, his lips turned up evilly and Naruto's amused expression faltered. "Oh, no," he said faintly.

Kiba chuckled dangerously. "I was hoping you might hold him while I made the diagnosis."

Naruto suddenly looked rather ill.

"So you actually found worms?" Sasuke asked, speaking for the first time since entering the room. He had regained his composure, and was looking at the doctor with poorly disguised interest.

Kiba grinned outright, "Did I ever."

**!#)(&$#!$!$$$**

There was a crick in Tsunade's back. Her neck ached and her stomach felt jumbled. She sighed, rubbing a temple as she held the corded phone to her ear.

"Mmhmm, so three twenty it is then. Thank you for your call." She had barely set it on its receiver when it rang again. "Argh. New Leaf Animal Clinic, this is Tsunade, how may I help you? Alright, I'll let the doctor know. When would you like to reschedule? Thursday? Let me see…"

The front door jingled, and she raised a weary eye, automatically holding up a finger to stall the next customer. A wary head snuck past the doorframe and Tsunade recognized the boy as his pinched expression dissolved into a cheek-splitting smile.

"Tsu-"

The finger she was holding up flew to her lips and her eyebrows crashed down in warning. Konohamaru quickly stifled his words, clapping a hand over his mouth as though swallowing pills. Tsunade's face lightened, and she winked at him as he sidled behind the counter.

"Hmm, on Thursday, we only have a couple slots available in the morning but most of the afternoon is free. Four o'clock? Fantastic. I'll put you right in…"

Konohamaru sat himself on the floor at Tsunade's feet, beaming at the two dogs also hidden under the desk. The large, white dog bat his feathered tail and scooted closer for a pet, while the smaller Chihuahua mix stalked irritably across the room to shiver in front of the space heater. Konohamaru kept quiet, rubbing behind the white dog's brown ears in a sort of nonverbal dialogue. He could smell Tsunade's feet through her clogs, but it didn't bother him. Like the dogs, he felt at home under the desk. It was shady and protected, and he couldn't help but to feel safe. The boy smiled as he ran his fingers over the dog's silky ears. Yes, this was where he belonged.

When Tsunade was finally freed of the telephone, the boy piped up, "So Dr Inuzuka is on call. And Sakura, right?" He flushed slightly at the woman's name, grinning madly up at Tsunade from the depths of the desk. She smiled back tiredly, giving him a slight nod. _Ugh, the brat has so much _energy

"You're here early. Shouldn't you be at school?"

"No… well…" he gave her an unhappy half-smile. "You know."

Tsunade sighed. Yes, she knew. Konoha's educational systems were going to hell. But that shouldn't stop him from trying.

"Babe, what classes do you have left today?"

His mouth turned down. "History, PE, um, Art and Science. Why?"

Tsunade scooted back in her chair a little to look squarely at the boy. "I'd like you to go back to school for your last few periods." She saw he was about to protest and cut in, "Babe, how are you going to be a vet if you don't go to school? It takes years and years of education."

"But Naruto didn't like school, and look at –"

"Naruto is a special case –"

"Why, because he's Naruto?"

"No, because he's friends with Dr Sabaku."

Konohamaru's mouth made a little O. Tsunade nodded. _That's right. See?_

"But," the boy whispered, "Dr Sabaku is really intense. He, like, has no eyebrows." Suddenly he frowned, sitting a little taller. "But wait a minute! That's favoritism."

"Well, favoritism gave him the opportunity, but he had to work really hard to keep on it."

"I'll work really hard!"

"I'm sure you will, but you need the opportunity first."

"I'm friends with you. That should count for something."

'You know –" The phone rang. "New Leaf Animal Clinic, this is Tsunade, how can I help you?"

Konohamaru huffed, curling deeper under the desk. "Nobody loves me," he mouthed dramatically to the white dog. Akamaru wagged his tail, sniffing at the boy's fingers. Konohamaru looked up as Tsunade passed him a sticky note.

_Experience looks good on a resume. Start filing._

His smile threatened to crack his face. Tsunade winked at him as he dove for the patient folders.

**!#)(&$#!$!$$$**

"No way," Anko hissed, leaning in closer, "I've never seen anything like it."

"That is so gross, but so cool. Don't they look like tentacles?" Sakura whispered giddily.

They were huddled around the dog, a large shepherd mix that looked extremely uncomfortable as Kiba peeled back its eyelid for a better view. All around the eye, on the cornea and underneath the eyelids, were tiny white worms. The techs bent forward, staring intently in both interest and disgust at the small, writhing parasites. Even Sasuke looked interested, his face relaxed for once, lips parted slightly as he watched the spectacle.

If Naruto hadn't felt so nauseous, he would have wanted to kiss him. As it was, he was huddled on the far side of the room, staring intently at a poster offering illustrated how-to instructions on CPR and the Heimlich maneuver. He heard footsteps and recognized Sasuke's ratty sneakers from the corners of his eyes.

"Squeamish much?" There was a smug note in the tech's voice that got under Naruto's skin. His mouth turned down and his eyebrows puckered irritation. _Abrasive bastard. I bet he's been waiting for a chance like this all day._ Caught up in his own melodrama, he conveniently forgot he'd been picking on Sasuke since they met. He pouted petulantly. _And he's talking to me of his own free will. How out of character._

"Hmph," was Naruto's eloquent reply. Narrowed eyes glanced testily at Sasuke's face. The tech was smirking. It was an aggravatingly haughty expression; one Naruto unhappily suspected he'd be seeing more of. Readjusting his stance rather snobbishly, the blond tech returned his gaze to the CPR/Heimlich maneuver poster. With a smug smirk of his own, he decided to turn the tables.

"Hmm, Sasuke," he purred, giving the tech a disturbingly lecherous look, "How would you like to play doctor? You can take off your clothes, and I'll get my stethoscope." He was rewarded by the angry flush that crept across Sasuke's cheeks. "Or you could lie on your back and – " he cast a scheming glance at the poster, "— we could practice CPR." He tapped the illustration triumphantly, bouncing his eyebrows. He gave Sasuke the mother of shit-eating grins, having made what he considered to be a successful pass at him. Sasuke himself did not look impressed.

"Sounds great," he said scathingly. "I've always wanted to have my ribs crushed by a blond idiot."

"I won't crush them, I'LL BE GENTLE!" Naruto shouted at the back of Sasuke's retreating head, oblivious to the stares of his coworkers. Sakura, Anko and Kiba were watching Naruto incredulously over the worm-eye dog's head. As Naruto returned to his study of the CPR poster, the three exchanged vaguely mortified glances. Naruto pouted, oblivious to how his friends were shaking with repressed laughter.

**#!$!$#!$#!U$$$$$$$$$**

It got dark quickly, something Sasuke was keenly aware of as he made his way across the parking lot to his bike. _Hn. I shouldn't be so anxious_, he chastised himself. It was dark, sure, but it was only twenty feet or so from the artificial light of the clinic. It wasn't exactly the best part of Konoha, either. In spite of himself, Sasuke moved a little faster. _That's right, all there is to do is unlock the bike, make it across some sketchy intersections and go on my merry way. That's right, nothing to be worried about. Except, of course, the guy who stabbed that lady last week. Who's still at large._

Sasuke swore. His brilliant analysis wasn't working. He stomped (more like irately tiptoed) over to the tree where he had tethered his bicycle. Only it was gone. Sasuke stood very still, staring incomprehensively at the severed lock. He made a tiny, strangled noise in the back of his throat and fled, making a mad dash for the lit windows of the clinic.

Naruto stared as the door jingled and Sasuke flew in, cheeks flushed and breath erratic. Sasuke took a moment to collect the scattered pieces of his dignity. Hair and heart rate back in place, he met Naruto's curious blue gaze with a haughty look only he could have pulled off.

"You got a car?"

**$#!$!#$$#!$$$ #U#**

Sasuke lived by the mission, on the second floor of a dingy apartment complex. It was less than a two-minute detour, one that Naruto was more than happy to make.

"Here is fine," Sasuke said, speaking for the first time since getting into the car. He flicked dark bangs out of his eyes and ducked out of the car door. Naruto didn't miss a beat. He was out of the driver's seat and chasing after the dark-eyed man before he could really process what he was doing.

"Sasuke," he said as he caught up to him. The man stopped walking and tensed, looking at Naruto uneasily. The blond grinned at him as he passed him, heading for the battered apartment complex Sasuke had been approaching.

"Where are you going, idiot?"

Naruto turned to face him, walking backward toward his destination. "Why, I'm walking you in, of course."

Sasuke looked annoyed, but started walking again. "Tch, piss off, won't you?"

Naruto raised his eyebrows, "Such hostility! I'm just being the gentleman here." – Sasuke resisted the urge to scoff – "And besides, if I'm going to be picking you up in the morning, I've got to know which door to bang on. I'd hate to get an earful from one of your crotchety neighbors."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, "This is a onetime thing, dumbass. Don't expect to make it a habit."

"What, you got a car?" Naruto decided to take the stony silence as a 'no.' "Well, with your bike gone, how're you supposed to get to work on time?"

"What do you care?" _Urgh, go away._

"Well, the economy is declining, we're in a recession, global warming is biting our asses, I mean come _on._ We're all going to die anyway. Why not give it a shot?"

Sasuke gave him a weird look. Naruto grinned awkwardly. What was he arguing for again? Oh, yeah…

"What I mean to say is, we should carpool together. It's economically friendly," he added hopefully. Sasuke still looked skeptical. And suspicious. He was giving Naruto a wary eye as they took to the stairs. The staircase was grey and unadorned, and their voices echoed up the floors. Naruto decided to attack from another angle.

"I guess you could take the bus. The only downside is you'd have to get to work an hour early. Yeah, crappy bus schedule. I suppose it wouldn't be too bad. You could go shopping at the grocery store in the extra time. Good luck hiding your food from Kakashi, though." Naruto realized he was rambling and quickly stopped. The next few moments of silence were uncomfortable. They stopped in front of Sasuke's door and Sasuke unlocked it easily, taking a moment to jiggle the door out of its frame so he could open it. He took a step inside the dark room, pausing with his back to Naruto.

"Hn. You'd better not be late."

He shut the door and Naruto stood dumbly out in the hall, a smile creeping across his face. He grinned wildly at the brass number 48. With a whoop, he howled, " 8:30 sharp, jerk. Don't _you_ be late!" and sped off. Down the hall, an old woman shook her fist.

**A/N** Thank you so much for reading! Chapter 3 will be out eventually, and I'm already working on Chapter 4, so… I don't know. I'll try to up the ante.

I was thinking that if anyone had ideas for patients, that could be fun. I mean, I'm fine thinking them up by myself, but if anyone wanted to make things more interactive, that could be cool too.

Thanks again! Ciao.


	3. Ch 3 part 1 The Stranger

**Disclaimer: **See chapter 2, it applies to all chapters.

**Warnings:** In this chapter, A New Leaf earns it's M rating. Ye be warned.

**A/N **Sorry for the short chapter. I decided to challenge myself and see if I could get a chapter out in a week. I failed. This is the half I did finish. I want to thank you all for your fantastic reviews! I've been on cloud nine since reading them. I should have said so in chapter 2. Please excuse this faux pas.

**Edit:** I've gone back and made a couple changes to this chapter, mainly to the section regarding Shikamaru, so if you read it before 8/2012, it may be worth a second shot.

**A New Leaf**

**Chapter 3 Part 1 ~ The Stranger**

Sasuke couldn't breathe. Something was choking him, plugging his nostrils and gagging his mouth as he tried to inhale. He thrashed, panic rising, the burn in his chest becoming unbearable. Sasuke clawed at the thing on his face and heard an indignant yowl. He lurched up into a sitting position, gasping for air as he threw the angry black cat off his bed.

Itachi always was a face-sleeper.

Sasuke glared daggers at the cat, adrenaline coursing through him. His expression changed to a grimace as he fished a cat hair out of his mouth. He threw the blankets up with one hand, the other swiping a finger along the inside of his cheek. Itachi, for his part, sat primly with his tail curled around himself and had the nerve to meow loudly, demanding food. Bare feet slapping against the floor, Sasuke marched past the cat on the way to the bathroom, shaking his middle finger and spitting out bits of wet fur as he went.

Itachi followed, looking smug.

Sasuke stormed into the bathroom, snatching his toothbrush from its plastic cup and slathering it with toothpaste. After a few moments of chomping on the bristles, he paused, eyes fixed on the tiled counter. There were two tidy piles, one of bones and fur, the other of small bloody organs and soft tissue. A few spats of blood had oozed between the tiles and there was a stain on the rug. Sasuke didn't have to do an autopsy to know who dunnit. He spat toothpaste froth into the sink and chanced a peek at the bathroom door. Itachi was licking his chops, looking rather pleased with himself.

It was official. Sasuke hated his life.

A generous amount of bleach, Simple Green and elbow grease later, Sasuke felt safe putting his toothbrush back on the bathroom counter. He slapped some cat food in Itachi's bowl, hoping to appease the little monster. Grabbing a towel from the closet, he heard his alarm go off. Sasuke groaned. To think he could have been sleeping until now. Letting the clock wail unattended, he tested the water. A shower would do him good.

With that thought in mind, he stripped and scooted behind the shower curtain. He closed his eyes, the water massaging his skin and plastering his hair to his skull. He turned around, reaching for a bar of soap. His hand paused, hovering above the dead gopher in the soap dish. Tiny, lifeless eyes stared back at him. Sasuke twitched.

Today was going to be a bad day.

**$$$$$$$$$$U$$$**

Sakura stroked her boyfriend's bare shoulder absently. He was asleep, his back to her, breathing deeply. She sighed and scooted closer so that her nose brushed his thick brown hair. The linens rustling around her as she inhaled, breathing in his unique scent, the smell of sweat mixed with a foreign spice he'd picked up while he was away. Sakura sighed against his neck. She was going to have to leave for work soon.

Carefully, so as not to wake the sleeping man, she slid out of bed. They had been dating for almost a year now, but his photojournalism career had kept him across the globe for almost half of it. He'd only gotten back a few days ago and was still jet-lagged. Putting up her hair in front of the mirror, Sakura yawned. They'd spent most of the night making up for lost time. She was exhausted and would've loved nothing more than sleeping the morning away. But still, there was… work.

She sniffed herself, wondering if she could get away without a shower. Another sniff told her that no, there would be no escape. Naruto and his freak nose would find her out, and she'd never hear the end of his complaints. Last time her boyfriend had been in town had been humiliating enough; there was no need for history to repeat itself. She gasped at the cold water, quickly adjusting the temperature. She didn't wash her hair, instead keeping it pinned up and out of the way. She was desperately in need of a new dye job and didn't want to wash out more of the color. The last thing she wanted was to have it turn an awful peachy-grey.

She got ready for work quickly, pulling on scrubs to cover the intimate bruises on her hips and along her spine. Pulling on a jacket and grabbing a purse, she paused in front of the door to the bedroom, hand stilling on the open frame.

He looked so peaceful as he slept. Thick winter blankets cocooned his body, exposing a teasing glimpse of his naked chest. His face was slack with slumber and his tousled hair stained the pillow. Sakura's face softened. Her eyes settled on the affectionate red scratches on his skin and her lips tilted into a half-smile. Mouthing a silent goodbye, she slipped out of the house, locking the door behind her.

**$$$$$U$$$$$$$**

Naruto adjusted his sweatshirt self-consciously as he stood in front of Sasuke's door. He didn't know why he bothered; he still looked ridiculous wearing scrubs in the real-people world, but he had an almost subconscious desire to impress. The brass number 45 was staring him down, daring him to knock. He took it up on the challenge, giving the door a few solid smacks.

And he waited. He growled. Who was it that insisted on not being late? Stupid jerk, holding him up on the doorstep.

"Hey, bastard! Open up! We're going to be late," Naruto shouted at the door. There was no response, and Naruto, losing his last follicle of patience, began banging on the door, roaring "SASUKE! Wake UP!"

The next door over opened, and Sasuke's dark head emerged. The corner of his mouth twitched in amusement. "I thought I heard your stupid voice," he murmured to himself, leaning casually against the open door frame.

Naruto's mouth hung open. _If Sasuke lives in the room over there__…_ The door he'd been banging on finally creaked open and an old woman squinted up at him, looking thoroughly affronted.

"Honestly! What ever is the matter with you?" The woman said disapprovingly, her face very stern and regal. "What could possibly have been so urgent that you felt the need to scream obscenities and nearly break down my door? I see no smoke, I hear no gunshots. My only possible conclusion is that you are an extremely rude young man without dignity or tact."

Naruto looked horrified. Sasuke had to bite his fist to keep from laughing.

"I – I am _so_ sorry, ma'am," Naruto choked out. "I'm just here to pick up a friend."

"And this friend appreciates you screaming at this early hour?"

"No, ma'am." He cringed. "Sorry. It won't happen again." Naruto looked properly ashamed.

"I should hope not," the old woman said coolly, giving the blond man a calculating stare.

When it became clear she was done, Naruto inched away from her toward Sasuke. He looked thoroughly abashed, much to Sasuke's amusement, and kept absolutely silent until they were so close they were almost touching.

"Um, ready to go?" Naruto whispered, casting his blue eyes into Sasuke's face before glancing at the old woman who was still standing in her doorway, watching him leave.

Sasuke smirked and stepped away from the doorframe, shutting and locking his apartment door. The large brass 48 glinted down mockingly. Sasuke followed Naruto's lead as he crept cautiously back down the hall. As they passed room 45, Sasuke caught his neighbor's eyes behind the blond man's back. She winked. Sasuke smirked.

Maybe the day didn't look so bad after all.

**$$$$$$$$U$$$$$$**

Shikamaru didn't know why he bothered. He flew against a wire fence and flinched as the impact jarred his body. The man approached him, growling, and grabbed a fistful of his shirt to drag him up. He didn't move, didn't try to escape. He only curled tighter around himself in anticipation of the man's fists.

They didn't come.

Instead, large hands grappled with his clothes. Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut and covered his face with his hands. It was coming. He fought a whimper as his pants tore. His heart was beating a hole out of his chest. He only did suck and touch, he didn't go all the way. He'd told the stranger that after asking for a smoke. Hand job or blow job, ten bucks a pop. He was not desperate enough to sell the rest of his body. He wasn't ready to go that far. Plenty of people used their hands and mouths to complete their work; salesmen, artists, teachers. He worked part time like anyone else, using his hands and mouth. His body was his home, his temple. No one else was allowed inside.

Still, he had been attacked. It took several hits and a few failed vaults over the fence, but eventually he'd stopped fighting. He figured it would end faster that way.

The man flipped him over, bending ominously over his back and whispering terrible things into his ear. Shikamaru was shaking violently, uncontrollably. Even if he'd tried to fight, he wouldn't have been able to control his movements. He felt strangely weak, helpless. He wanted to scream or call out, demand that the man stop, but his throat was closed and he could barely hear his own whisper. It was like a nightmare where he couldn't run fast enough. For once, his mind was numb, void of complex thought and oddly blank. The first thrust crushed his face into the ground. Raw pain rendered him blind and voiceless as his mouth opened in a silent cry. He tasted dirt and bile.

The man pounded him into the asphalt, their bodies hidden behind a dumpster. Shikamaru could feel blood, his blood, oozing down the inside of his thighs. His hands reached out as he tried feebly to drag himself out of the stranger's grasp. He made no sound. He could barely breathe.

It was over. The man pulled away with a satisfied grunt and Shikamaru felt cold, exposed. Empty. He was still shaking. He felt younger than he had in a long time, like he had as a child, beaten for wetting the bed. Only this time he didn't know what he'd done wrong.

He could feel his brain reassessing the world, trying to make sense of what had happened. He pulled his ruined clothing back over his body, feeling blood soaking into the denim. He moved like a wounded animal, trying to stand. Somewhere above him, the man shifted to stand a little wider and a hot stream of urine struck his left temple. The piss slid across his cheek and dripped off the end of his nose. The stranger shifted his aim higher to soak Shikamaru's hair. Shikamaru had stilled and his fingers tightened around his clothes in a subconscious, spastic movement. He stared unseeing at the ground, piss getting in his ear. Above him, the stranger laughed. He shook the last drops onto Shikamaru's shoulder. Scuffed footware stepped in front of his face and a full pack of cigarettes dropped a few inches from his nose. Payment. The man left. When his footsteps had faded, Shikamaru slumped to the ground, laying with his left cheek to the ground so the piss could drain from his ear.

Shikamaru didn't know how long he lay there, blood caking onto his skin. He heard the dumpster open and shut a few times as people threw out garbage. A fly crawled across his arm and a dog came over to sniff him before being called away. It wasn't until his internal clock chased him to his feet that he finally moved, pulling on his clothes, ignoring the torn, stained state of his jeans, and making his way out of habit to the bakery dumpster. He got there just as the Kurenai-woman was throwing out the extra loaves. Mechanically, he stole bread from the garbage, filing it away into his backpack. He limped over to another wall and sat gingerly against it, turning the new pack of cigarettes over in his fingers. His hands began to shake. He lifted a cancer-stick to his lips, fingers trembling and too uncoordinated to flick the lighter.

Shikamaru crushed the cigarette in his fist. His throat unstuck and he let out a choked sob, curling closer around himself. His fingers clenched around the fresh pack, crinkling the box. He cried, raw, grieving. He had been robbed. His body was his home and he had been broken in. It replayed in his mind, over and over. Suddenly, he began to laugh. It was a harsh sound, almost hysterical. He ran his fingers over the box in his hands, his shoulders shaking. He'd asked for a smoke. He'd gotten it.

**$$$$$$$$U$$$$$$**

Kakashi stalked his prey, slinking jungle-style along the top shelf of the bookcase. His victim shifted, its hair jiggling. That _hair._ Kakashi didn't know why he hadn't noticed it before. Perhaps the angle had been bad. After all, people-hair is awfully hard to notice when you're a cat on the ground.

The hair had a life of its own. It seemed to move independently of the person it grew from, bouncing and wagging of its own accord. It froze, teasing, before continuing its intriguing dance. It was as though the hair was toying with him. Kakashi's lone eye narrowed. The hair twitched again and he snapped.

Yowling a war cry that sounded as though he'd been tasered, Kakashi lunged off the bookcase. His legs were outstretched as though for a hug, his tail thrashing for balance. His single eye gleamed menacingly as he zeroed in on his prey.

Sasuke ducked just in time.

There was a crash as Kakashi flew into the monitor. The three techs in the room blinked, paused mid-sentence. The grey cat plucked himself daintily out of the disaster on the desk and sauntered over to Sakura, meowing piteously. She plopped him onto her lap.

"What was that, buddy?" She asked, ruffling the fur on his back.

"Life must be getting rough. I think Kakashi just attempted suicide," Naruto laughed.

"Or homicide," Sasuke muttered darkly, righting himself and resettling into his chair. He glared at the cat, who was resting his head on Sakura's chest, purring loudly. She giggled and scratched him behind the ears.

"We need to get you neutered," she said, flicking Kakashi's tail area. The cat jerked away from her, eye wide in alarm. "Uh-huh," she nodded at him, wagging the same finger, "I don't care what Dr Sabaku thinks; I'd say it's about time."

Kakashi bolted off her lap, skittering to a stop once he was out of arms reach. He glared, his tail swishing evilly.

Sakura's laugh was interrupted by the telephone.

"Good morning, New Leaf Animal Clinic, this is Sakura, how can I help you? Oh, Ino! Ino? Oh, no. How long has this been going on? Ino, you really should take him to the ER." A sigh. "Yes, we have time if you come right now. Okay? See you in a few." There was a click as she set the corded phone in its cradle. Sakura turned to the other techs, looking strained. "Guys, we have a situation."


	4. Ch 3 part 2 Underwater

**A/N: **You thought this story was dead, didn't you! Hah! Well, it's not. Has it really been four years? That is horrifying. Ah… Sorry about the horrible, ridiculous tardiness of this chapter. I have reasons-ish. One being that I got laid off from my job (where I was getting oodles of hilarious inspiration for this story – hilarious to me, that is. Hopefully to you, too) and I got really, really sick. I'm better now! Kind of. Actually, I'm worse. But I feel better! So I'm back. I have no plans to abandon this story – I have enough notes on plot and characters to turn this into a novel – and I intend to get the next chapter out on the sooner side, depending on my attention span and pitiful time management abilities. And whether or not I can find what I've already written of chapter 4.

With that said, I was looking over the other chapters of this story and I patched up that sucky section about Shikamaru last chapter so that it's not so nonsensical and ridiculous.

Also, Arigatomina, you make my life.

**Warnings: **A bit o' romance in the air, death.

**A New Leaf**

**Chapter 3 Part 2 – Underwater**

Kiba sat, hunched comfortably over a steaming cappuccino. He stirred it idly as he read the funnies, chuckling every now and then when he found a good one. This was a ritual of sorts. Once a week or so, on one of his days off, he'd drive his dog Akamaru to the beach in Sand City, where they would spend the afternoon. It was like a date for married people, only Akamaru was a dog.

The café was an integral part of this ritual. It was here that Kiba received his daily dosage of life force (coffee) that would keep him going for the rest of the afternoon. Akamaru understood this as a required compromise, the same way Kiba understood he had to pick up the dog's poop, and waited calmly in the back of his human's car.

"Excuse me."

Kiba was pulled away from the cynicism of Dilbert's cubicle life by a smooth female voice. He looked up and the newspaper slumped forgotten in his hands. There was a gorgeous woman standing in front of his table, a paper bag in one hand and a steaming travel cup in the other. He unconsciously eyeballed her chest before raising his gaze to her face. She had a mass of frizzy blond hair and there was a sharp look about her that softened when she smiled.

"Sorry?" he managed, clearing his throat and readjusting his paper, feeling flustered and unprepared in a loose sweatshirt and jeans.

Her mouth curved up politely and she nodded at the empty chair across from him.

"Would you mind if I sat there? All the other tables are full."

Kiba lurched to his feet, shaking his head emphatically and standing awkwardly, newspaper in hand. He waved his free arm at the seat. "Please – go ahead."

She settled down, laughing. "Relax, I'm not chasing you off. Sit down and stay awhile."

Kiba gave an awkward grin and eased back into his chair.

"The name is Temari." She fished a bagel out of her paper bag and began to unwrap it.

"Kiba..." he watched her with a slightly dazed expression

"Want some?"

"Bagel? Oh, no thanks." Her red lips parted and her teeth sank into the cream cheese. Kiba shifted uncomfortably.

"Um," he offered once she swallowed, "nice weather?"

Temari smiled, secretly flattered by Kiba's awkward interest.

"It's one of the nicer days, in my opinion. This week has been a bit grey for my taste."

"Yeah?" Kiba fidgeted with his newspaper, feeling in mildly better control now that he was able to focus on her eyes. "It's usually overcast here, huh?" he said, as if he wasn't here every week.

"You could say that." She watched Kiba sip his espresso. "You're not from around here, are you."

"No, Konoha," he said, licking froth off his lip, and shrugged, realizing that he may have misled her. "I come here every now and then to run my dog."

She smiled, "You have a dog?"

Kiba's smile stretched his face. "He's in my car if you'd like to meet him."

Temari arched an eyebrow. "Isn't that one of the oldest lines in the book," she said, amused.

"Huh?" Kiba said, perplexed. "Akamaru?"

Temari raised both eyebrows significantly and said in a creepy, deep voice, "Come into my car, little girl. I have puppies."

Kiba turned about four shades of red and looked like he'd just sat on something wet and squishy. "That's not what I meant," he said quickly.

Temari laughed heartily, slapping her thigh, until she had to dab under her eyes to keep from ruining her makeup. She glanced at her watch. "Oh!" she exclaimed, "I've got to run or I'll be late for work. It was nice to meet you." And with that she rose with her empty bag and her travel cup of coffee and hurried to the parking lot.

Kiba stared after her, a dazed expression on his face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakura held Ino's hand as she led her out of the exam room and into the back hospital. The blonde woman looked terrible. Her eyes were smeared and swollen and she was wearing a leopard print robe, pajama pants and flip flops. She anxiously nibbled the skin of her unoccupied thumb.

The diagnosis was bad.

Gaara had looked somber, beyond his usual apathy, as he told Ino the news. Her dog wasn't going to make it. She almost didn't believe him at first; her clear blue eyes were glazed over and she was dazed with shock. _Her_ dog? Her _Pakkun?_ No. That couldn't be right. He couldn't have gotten so sick so fast.

But he had.

Her housemates had thrown a party last night to celebrate the close of lacrosse season. Her other dog was holding fort under the bed (something he thoroughly regretted when a couple decided to make use of it), but Pakkun chose to mingle, sitting on laps and dodging drunken feet. Ino had been swaying in her boyfriend's arm when he'd leaned forward and, instead of kissing her, had reminded her that Pakkun needed his medicine.

She had been frazzled, surprised, and incredibly giddy. "Pakkun," she'd called, clutching the little bottle of antibiotic tablets. She found him on a friend's lap.

"Look at this, he likes beer," the man had said, sloshing some over the dog's head. Pakkun began licking to catch the liquid on his tongue. Everyone laughed.

"Here, Pakkun-baby," Ino had murmured, waggling the bottle of antibiotics. "I know you hate it, but it's time for your medicine."

Pakkun had ducked away.

"Hey, if he hates it so much, put it in his beer," someone had suggested. Everyone laughed and Ino mixed it up in a bowl, calling out to her dog between giggles.

She'd found him the next morning, lying on his side next to a pool of vomit on the floor of her decimated living room. His eyes were glazed, his breathing shallow. Her other dog, Iruka, was standing over him, whining. That's when she called Sakura.

"This is all my fault," Ino moaned as she clung to the pink-haired tech. "If I hadn't… if I had..."

"Shush," Sakura murmured, rubbing her shoulder. "It'll be alright, he won't feel a thing. He's going to a better place now."

Sakura's grip on her friend tightened as they saw the dog. He looked horrible. He looked small and weak and his eyes were sunken in from dehydration. He lay motionless, his IV drip a constant stream of liquid. Ino let out a strangled sob.

"Pakkun," she moaned. "Oh, Pakkun-baby, I am so sorry." Tears were leaving wet trails down her cheeks. The pug's curly tail gave a listless twitch at the sound of his name.

Ino staggered forward, gripping the exam table and extending a hand to touch him. He was stiff and deflated, like a little motorized doll. Then there was another, darker hand beside hers on the dog. She looked up into Naruto's face. He was serious for once.

"Ready?" His voice was soft.

Ino nodded before she fully understood. Sakura pulled her back as Naruto began to fill the syringe.

"Wait –" Ino's voice broke. Sakura shushed her.

"It'll be alright," she said again.

Pakkun lay still, with no reaction to the needle. It wasn't until half the poison was already in him that he began to struggle. His eyes bulged, his legs working, fighting against Naruto's grasp. Then he fell limp like a marionette with cut strings, his eyes half-mast and his head lolling. Naruto withdrew the needle and Pakkun's urine ran down the drain.

Ino stood very still, her eyes wide.

"He…" she sounded faint. "He…" The blonde caught sight of Sasuke, who stood beside her, having stepped in to avoid dealing with Anko up front. She took in a sharp breath and latched onto him.

"He didn't want to die," she shrieked, her arms closing around Sasuke's neck. She began to bawl against his chest, pressing her face into his scrubs.

Sasuke was completely horrified.

He recoiled at the combined reek of stale booze and flowery perfume. His first instinct was to attack. His eyes flashed as his arm twitched, prepared to administer a painful chop to the neck. His lip was curling back into a snarl when, for some inexplicable reason, he glanced up, meeting Naruto's blue gaze.

Slowly, the blond shook his head.

Sasuke's arms fell to his sides. He scowled down at the woman's ponytail, but for a different reason than before. He could feel anger at Naruto bubbling up. It was an irrational, frantic rage. How could he _manipulate_ him so fucking easily? What was this, _Simon Says?_ Resentment poisoned his glare, and Sasuke raised his eyes, hoping to spear the blond.

Naruto was looking away, gently lifting the dead dog off the exam table. It sprawled unnaturally, but he held it tenderly, like a child. Something shut down in Sasuke. He looked down again, at the shuddering woman buried against him.

Tentatively, he lifted a hand and patted her on the back. He took in a long, low breath and waited for the storm to pass.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Anko was hiding up front. It wasn't that she couldn't handle death but, contrary to popular belief, she wasn't a fan of killing little animals. She sighed and began shuffling through the re-file pile of yellow folders.

"I'm sorry, there was a small emergency and we're behind schedule. The doctor will be able to see you shortly," Tsunade said sweetly to the client waiting in one of the mismatched chairs. He was an odd one, with oiled hair, lots of tight green fabric, and a crooked-nosed dog at his feet. He raised a pair of fearsome eyebrows.

"No worries, fine lady, I could extend my patience to solstice if need be."

Anko, who was placing a file, raised her eyebrows. _Okay._

Silence. And then the man spoke, "May I inquire as to the nature of the emergency?"

Tsunade corrected her wilted smile. "I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss that."

"Perfectly understandable." He flashed an abnormally white grin. "Would you enjoy a peppermint stick? Something to lighten the mood?"

Anko was staring at the guy from the corner of her eye. Did those teeth just sparkle? Surreal.

"No. No, thank you."

Anko leaned in toward Tsunade's thick blonde hair. "I can take him to a room," she whispered.

The receptionist rolled her eyes over to give the technician a quietly disturbed look.

"Whatever turns you on."

"Excellent."

She just _had_ to ask about his whitening secrets.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Naruto snapped a pair of rubber gloves over his wrists and grinned toothily down at his new charge.

"Oh, sweet dog," he cooed, running a gloved finger over Springtime's crooked nose. The dog looked away from him, showing the whites of its eyes. "Don't be like that," he said sweetly in the same endearing tone, "this'll all be over in a minute."

Naruto grabbed up a tube and began to slather clear, viscous liquid over his gloved fingers. "Sasuke, hold him for me?" he said in a normal voice.

Reeling the leash in tighter, Sasuke knelt beside the dog and wrapped an arm around its back. Springtime tried to sit, and Sasuke pressed a hand up under his abdomen. "Stand up," he muttered. Then louder, "Where's the muzzle for this guy?"

Naruto raised blond eyebrows. "Muzzle? Not for him. Look at 'im, he's a big softie." He was cooing again, Sasuke noted irritably. He couldn't help eyeing the massive german shepherd with mistrust.

"Alright, ready?" Naruto said, squatting down behind the dog. Sasuke closed one hand around the dog's jaws and pinned the head to his chest.

"Got him."

"Don't worry, sweetcakes, I'm using lots of lube," Naruto cooed to the dog, taking its tail in one hand and getting to work with the other. Sasuke could have sworn he heard a muffled "KY jelly is your friend," and grimaced at Naruto's comments. Unhappy thoughts of bestiality were dancing around in his head like demented leprechauns. He tightened his grip as the dog tried to lurch away.

A thin whine turned into a lamenting yip. Naruto was right; the dog _was_ a softie. No growling, no snapping, nothing.

"Argh!" Naruto yelled, recoiling from the dog's rear. "He sprayed!"

Sasuke fought a smirk.

"Great, just great," Naruto mumbled. "Alright, got the first fucking gland. Next. Damn it."

A few paper towels and a splash of Cowboy Magic later, Springtime was ready to go back up front. Anko paused as she took the leash from Sasuke, giving a few pointed sniffs in the blond's direction.

"Naruto," she drawled.

"What," he mumbled, pouring rubbing alcohol onto the speckled poop stains on the front of his scrubs.

"You smell like shit," she said sweetly.

"Wow, thanks so much," Naruto said dryly. He smiled thinly. "Hurts a lot, coming from you."

Anko sneered good-naturedly and left, taking the dog up front with her. After all, her pearly whites would be polished to a blinding degree within the week. She was looking forward to inducing seizures.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The old pickup rumbled down the highway, lurching with every bump in the road and jumbling the scratchy radio music. Kankuro took in a deep breath of air, gusty and blue and flavored with dust from the heat vents. It was good to be home.

He'd just returned from covering the recent earthquake in Chile, and as he drove down the paved road past stretches of composed shop facades, he remembered the trash and wreckage, and the faces of those who'd just lost everything. For a moment, through the smells of autumn and car dust, he thought he detected the reek of decay. He cranked down the windows with a hand that trembled and wiped a sudden sweat off on his jeans.

Enough of that. He was home now and he was going to see his girl.

He smiled slightly, much of his former humor recovered, and drummed his fingers on the wheel.

He flicked the blinkers when he saw the ancient, greasy-looking Doughnut Shoppe sign, knowing the New Leaf clinic would be behind it. The parking lot was almost empty, so he took the spot directly in front of the store. The engine shuddered into silence.

Kankuro could see technicians bustling around the front of the clinic, preparing to close, but there was no sign of his girl or his hardworking brother. He sighed and settled more comfortably in his seat.

It was getting dark, and a technician, one Kankuro wasn't familiar with, had finished mopping the front. Neither Sakura nor Gaara had shown their faces yet; he figured it was about time to go in and hunt for them.

As he shut the door to the truck, he finally spotted his girl coming out of an exam room with her arm around Ino. He frowned as he made his way to the clinic door. Why was Ino here?

"Ladies," he murmured, nodding suavely at them. Behind the counter, Anko snickered.

Sakura's face lit up, though she didn't leave Ino's side. The blonde gave him a watery smile.

"I killed Pakkun," she sobbed, her face melting in misery.

Kankuro didn't know what to say. Pakkun had always nipped and yapped at him and would pee in his shoes – or occasionally on his leg – if he took them off.

He sincerely tried to look sympathetic.

"There, there, dear," murmured Tsunade, handing Ino some tissues over the front counter, "It's not your fault."

Ino pressed the tissues to her face and _howled_.

"Okay," Kankuro backed up, trying to disguise his escape and doing poorly, "I'll just find Gaara. There's something very important I need to speak with him about."

Sakura shot him a _look_.

He laughed awkwardly and all but dashed behind the front counter, nearly tripping over Inari, Sakura's twitchy yap-dog, as he retreated from the sounds of Ino drizzling into her tissue.

"Geez," Kankuro muttered as he let himself into the back. It could be hard to deal with Ino on a good day, and since he was familiar with some of the horrific shit people went through with painful dignity – his trip to Chile was especially fresh in his mind – he found her inability to cope, well, kind of pathetic, actually.

The problem was that she and Sakura were close, and he couldn't call Ino vapid or ridiculous without being burned by his girlfriend's ire.

It was like the girl version of Bros Before Hos pact, except that Chicks Before Dicks looked like it was going to stay fast until the grave. Kankuro sighed. Women.

_Speaking of bros…_

As he turned a corner in the clinic, he saw his brother washing his hands in the sink, looking pensive. But, then again, when _didn't_ Gaara look disgruntled and thoughtful?

"Baby brother!" he crowed, swooping in and punching the doctor in the arm. Gaara looked vaguely offended.

"Kankuro," he said stoically in greeting. "How was your trip?"

"It was…" Kankuro began, slightly surprised he had asked, "it was interesting, I guess. Pretty intense."

"Please, no more," Gaara said in monotone. "The details are too excruciating. Just stick to vague statements, please."

Kankuro raised his eyebrows. Was that a joke? How… how strange and frightening. And _awkward_. He offered an uncertain smile.

"So how is clinic life?" Kankuro said, but Gaara wasn't listening. He was looking toward the bathroom, where Naruto stood, closing the door, wearing jeans and a T-shirt with his scrubs balled up under one arm.

He caught sight of the two men and grinned. "Kankuro! You're back!" Naruto sped over. "A_ha!_" he cried.

"Ha_ha!_" was Kankuro's reply as they slapped a high-five. He grinned back at the blond. "Good to see you, man." He looked at Gaara, feeling slightly guilty for not being inclusive. "Ha_ha?_" he said tentatively, holding a hand up for his brother to slap.

Gaara ignored him.

He was staring at Naruto.

"Ah, Gaara, do you mind if I borrow your clothes?" Naruto asked sweetly.

Gaara gave him a pointed once-over.

"Ahah, I mean, I hope you don't mind if I borrowed them?" He offered. "The Springtime of Youth sprayed his anal glands on me!" he cried suddenly, dropping to his knees. "Please, lord Sabaku, _please_ don't make me drive home covered in poo!"

Kankuro stared.

"I hope to never live in a world where hearing something like that is normal," he said.

Gaara was secretly amused. "It's fine," he said. Naruto beamed and leapt to his feet. He threw his arms around Gaara's neck.

"Gaara, you're the _best!_" he all but shouted. He stepped back, still smiling, and snatched his soiled scrubs from the exam table where he'd thrown them. Waving, he danced out of the room to clock out.

Gaara stared after him.

Kankuro looked at Gaara and scowled slightly. "You're still in love with him," he said.

Gaara ignored him, continuing to gaze at the place where Naruto had disappeared. Maybe if he pretended to be dead, he wouldn't have to have this conversation. He closed his eyes and _willed_ rigor mortis.

"Gaara," Kankuro stepped closer to his brother, "Maybe you should talk to him about it. You know he bats for your team."

Gaara's eyes snapped open and he turned a pointed glare at his brother.

Kankuro shrugged. "I'd like it if there was somebody to look out for you. I know you've felt all fucked up since the accident, and I bet what happened with Pakkun didn't help. Naruto understands that kind of shit."

Gaara turned abruptly on his heel and began to stalk out of the room.

Kankuro caught up quickly and wrapped his arm around his brother's shoulders, stopping his escape.

"Hey," he said, "I missed you." He gave Gaara's shoulder a squeeze when he didn't respond. "Don't forget what family's there for. Don't be afraid to trust me sometime."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The rain pattered on the roof of the car as the men drove in silence. It had been a long day, and the fact that Ino was a friend to some of the people at the clinic had made it hard. Sakura had essentially skipped out on work in order to comfort her friend. Naruto didn't hold it against her, hell he respected her sticking to her friend, but it made it rough trying to keep up with appointments.

Naruto sighed, thinking about how Ino had killed her dog. Boozing dogs wasn't that uncommon. When he had been in high school, he used to drink at a friend's house when their parents were out and they would feed the dog beer until its hind legs would wobble and his whole back end would swing around. He didn't think much of it at the time, and he didn't worry much about the dog's health now that he did know better, but then that dog was a tall, built bloodhound and Pakkun was a shrimpy, smoosh-faced pug.

In the passenger seat, Sasuke enjoyed the mutual silence. The shush of the rain soothed him and he felt comfortable in the humid warmth that blew from the vents. The water slicking off the windows gave him an underwater feel. The outside world felt distant. Exterior sounds seemed muted and light became distorted into bubbles and stars. Traffic lights were the dazzling lures of lantern fish and glittering shop fronts slid past like moonlit coral. Sasuke touched the cool glass with his fingers and watched a halo of condensation fog the window around his hand. The world seemed slow and sensual.

Allowing his hand to drop and rest on his lap, he lay back in his seat to enjoy the surreal feeling of the night. A ripple of headlights caught his eye and he turned to look as Naruto was dappled in underwater light. The light fell through the windshield, wet and rippled, to touch Naruto's face and chest with mobile intimacy. The car passed and the light caressed Naruto's cheek and arms before slipping out the window and into the darkness beyond.

The car rolled to a stop at a traffic light and their world was bathed in hot red light. Sasuke watched as the whites of Naruto's eyes took on a pinkish gleam and his skin looked almost black. Naruto's fingers drummed the wheel and he glanced toward Sasuke, catching his eye. At another time, he might have fled eye contact, chasing himself with thoughts of professionalism and memories of cruelty and isolation. Tonight he observed how the wash of red light dulled all other colors until Naruto looked like a different man.

Abruptly, green light shattered the image. Sasuke blinked slowly as Naruto came swimming back, full of color. Naruto frowned slightly, a look of concern easing into his face.

"Are you all right?" he asked hesitantly. His voice cut into Sasuke's languid mood. Sasuke started as he surfaced from his pleasant stupor. He scowled.

"The light is green," he snapped after a moment's pause.

Checking to see that the light was indeed green, Naruto looked back at Sasuke as he eased on the gas. He realized he had been so caught up in his thoughts he had ignored his coworker for the entire ride. Lost in thought. He smiled a brief, wry smile. Now that's something that doesn't happen often. For a touch he debated trying to spark a conversation for the remaining few minutes of their drive. A quick glance at Sasuke's face discouraged him from the effort. When they pulled up in front of Sasuke's apartment, it was without a word that Sasuke rose from his seat, shut the car door and hurried into the building.

Once alone and driving, Naruto blew out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. He dialed the radio on and fiddled with the stations. None of the stations suited him at the moment and he turned the radio off again. Outside the car the rain had picked up and he could hear fat droplets popping on the roof. Unable to stand the stuffy heat any longer, he turned off the air and rolled down his window. He parked his elbow in the open frame and rested his hand on the cool, slick roof. Raindrops snapped on his exposed arm and some flew in to darken his shirt.

When he had parked the car and locked it, he walked slowly to the condo he rented. Rain was creeping down his shirt and slid down his temple like sweat. Unlocking the front door, he kicked off his shoes and strode toward the bathroom. The smell of sage and the sound of footesteps in the kitchen informed him that his housemate was cooking.

Naruto didn't bother to lock the bathroom door. He flicked the light switch and stood over the sink, eyeing his reflection severely. He looked like summer and it was well into autumn now. The shirt he was wearing was soaked through – he'd forgotten his sweatshirt at work. Looking at it now he remembered it was Gaara's shirt. He peeled it off carefully and hung it over the shower curtain to dry. He stripped off Gaara's pants, too, and left the bathroom in his boxers.

Shino stepped out of the kitchen to greet him as he passed.

"I'm making squash ravioli and butter sage sauce if you would like to have dinner with me," Shino said, his voice flat.

_That sounds fucking disgusting_. "Thanks, but I already have dinner plans tonight," Naruto lied. Now that he'd said that, he'd have to go out again. Fuck. He would probably swing by a sports bar or grab a slice of pizza by himself.

Shino simply nodded impassively and retreated to continue his cooking.

As he walked away, Naruto felt a pang. He usually turned Shino's invitations down without a second thought. Being continuously rejected by Sasuke must have been more humbling than he'd thought. For a moment, Naruto wondered if Shino felt hurt or let down. He dragged a fresh shirt and pants out of his dresser and shook them out. They were housemates, not best friends. Naruto shrugged and scratched himself and didn't think about it again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Doctor?" Tsunade knocked at the doorframe and leaned her head into Dr. Sabaku's office, "I'm closing up. Are you going to be alright here?"

The doctor waved her in and she shut the door behind her. He leaned back in his chair, eyes closed.

"There will always be cases that can't be cured. We can't save everyone that walks in these doors."

Tsunade let out a light breath and settled down on an empty desk chair. This could take a while.

"We're the _best_, Tsunade. We _have_ to be the best. We can't afford to be anything but professional. No personal involvement. No…" he waved his hand vaguely in the air.

He lapsed into a long silence.

"Will that be all, doctor?" She asked calmly.

Gaara nodded slowly.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Well, I'm clocked out. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

She left, double checking the fans and locking the door, leaving the hospital dark but for the yellow circle of light around the open door of the doctor's office.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**A/N**: I laugh at my own jokes, by the way. It's kind of a problem since I'm not sure anyone else finds them funny. Oh, and no, this is not an "everybody loves Naruto" story. Shino is not trying to bone him; he's a reserved but kindhearted person and wants to make friends and Naruto is just kind of a prick.

The section with Naruto and Sasuke in the car was written out completely in green, apple-scented gel pen before I put it up. It was very ridiculous and hard to read.

(Below is superfluous, self-ingratiating babble. Feel free to ignore it.)

As a side note, an important part of clinic work is dealing with the grief of clients. It's something that can be really emotionally grueling for all the people involved. Whenever we had to put an animal down at work, everyone would be gloomy for the rest of the day. People can also be really funky about it. One woman (a client, not an employee) did stuff like burn incense in the room and cut off some of her hair that she wanted to be cremated with the dog. It was interesting. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

My old boss once said that, before every euthanasia, he would send up a prayer that the animal wouldn't struggle and dislodge the syringe from the vein, because that's just… horrible. Because half a syringe full isn't enough to kill them. It just leaves them poisoned and in pain. Thought I ought to leave you on a happy note, so please think about giraffes.


End file.
